When you think of crime, you probably think of common acts like burglary, speeding, and unpaid parking fees.
There’s a great chance you personally witness at least one petty crime every week, such is its prevalence in our society. One crime you would’ve almost definitely seen recently is someone riding an e-scooter on public land. Electric scooters have been trialled in cities like Bristol and Southampton to mixed results. For every responsible rider, there’s about two dozen drunken idiots who decide to ride one because they’re too lazy to walk to the next pub.
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Sold With Little Scrutiny
I think it’s a disgrace these things are sold with such little care or scrutiny. The streets of Hampshire, London, Sussex, and various other counties have been overridden with irresponsible riders who so openly break the law by using these machines in public.
There are a worrying 750,000 privately-sold e-scooters on Britain’s streets today - more than enough to cause a panic as far as I’m concerned.
This new craze is, hopefully, a fad that’ll die out as quickly as fidget spinners and Pokemon GO. I can’t go out for a walk in my city centre anymore without worrying I’ll be collided into by some idiot riding one of these monstrosities.
Dump The Scooters And Walk
There have been times where I’ve had to cower inside and wait until I’m certain the streets are safe before I depart my (very large) driveway in the morning. It is, if you ask me, a disgrace. The biggest problem with these things is that they’re entirely silent, and far too often have I just missed a collision because I was unable to hear the fool behind me zooming past.
What’s wrong with walking? Back in my day, if you wanted to climb a hill, you did it with your own two feet and without the help of a high-powered machine. If you wanted to get to a destination quickly, you ran, and if you wanted to cover long distances, you saved up for a car.
If the young people of today are wasting their money on these dystopian contraptions then it’s no wonder why they complain about the cost of living today. A high powered, sophisticated e-scooter can set you back hundreds of pounds - an investment that could be spent as part of a housing deposit or an education fund.
These frivolous devices aren’t only the pinnacle of middle-class hubris, but they’re also dangerous to others. Though most scooters top out at around 19 miles-per-hour, some can be modified to reach almost 60. This is far too fast and too dangerous for anyone, and I’ll only feel truly relieved when I see police officers locking up these thugs and confiscating them forever.
Or Use A Bicycle!
Some argue that e-scooters are good for the environment and a much cheaper alternative to motor vehicles. For those people, I’d like to announce a new discovery - the bicycle. This cutting-edge creation has been around for centuries, is legal to use on public land, and is far more sturdy and secure than the flimsy e-scooter.
Why not just cycle? You’ll actually get some exercise using a bike whilst helping the environment at the same time. The device does everything an electric scooter can do in a much safer fashion. It’s food for thought for e-scooter disciples.
I sincerely hope the e-scooter craze fades out soon. The public has had their fun with them, but it’s time to realise that they are not the answer. Much like skateboarders, I immediately lose all respect for an individual the moment I see them riding an e-scooter. They’re childish, dangerous, annoying, and, hopefully, not long for this world.
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